Don't You Hate Pants?

So I did something that few men and, well, few black men will ever do in this country: I bought a kilt.

I'll repeat that: I now own a kilt. And I love it!

I can't say I know what drew me to a kilt... maybe it was because of how odd it is, how rare it is to see one... but there was something just pretty cool and out there. So I bought it and it came in the mail yesterday. I was going to run around yesterday in it until I thought about. No, the fact that I live in Philly and I was going to Center City wasn't it. Instead, the problem was that... well, what do you wear under that thing?!

The main appeal of the kilt is that it makes up for what us men wear daily: Pants. I fucking hate pants! I didnt' at first, but put on a kilt and you'll agree... fuck pants! What kinda idiot thought MEN should wear pants? No, really, who? Did they not have testicles? I hate when you wear pants and you get that horrible feeling where it seems one of you testicles has decided to... ahem.. "rearrange" itself on it's own. When does it happen? Whenever you wear PANTS!

Most men wear boxers for the comfort and feeling of freedom, something we really get to enjoy when we wear shorts in the summer. Otherwise, we wear pants. Tight, restricting, horrible pants. Fuck 'em! Well, a kilt is better. I had on my boxers, I put a kilt on over them, and my god... paradise! PAR-A-DISE! Walking around the house, feeling free.. my god, FREEDOM!!!!

Well, what DO you wear under them? A real Scot would say "Nothing"... and they're right, your not supposed to wear anything under them. But in "The Real World", a.k.a, Philadelphia, you need to. Especially in winter. So I've debated a few things... no real idea yet, but hey, I'm working on it.

One idea was to wear just the boxers, but... well, it's not exactly a nice view if there's a wind. I also thought about wearing long john underneath them. I tried on a pair and walked around... well, it may be a kilt and not a skirt, but I sure did feel like I was wearing pantyhose! It's... it's a maybe. What? It kept me warm while still being fashionable. You got a problem with that, 'ya girl scout?!

So the solution really isn't simple. I'm debating the long johns... they look good, I could just say their socks, and skateboarding in them would be nothing short of awesome. That, or maybe just a slightly tighter pair of boxers.