SHIT THAT PISSES ME OFF Part 1: People Who Wear New York Yankees and Dallas Cowboys Gear

DISCLAIMER: The following piece is my sad attempt at humor. The truth is, I do fucking hate both of these teams, and I have a bit of a dislike for their fans. I do favor tossing a joke or insult at them for wearing the gear, but not more else. Hey, I'm tossing this in here to cover my ass, you damn Yankees fan!

You know what I hate? Those douche-bags who think wearing Yankees and Cowboys gear in Philly is "Cool"! FUCK YOU!

Seriously, don't you hate these assholes?

You're on your way to a Phillies game. You're psyched, you're happy, and you're pumped for the game! Then, on the way there... there HE is. THAT guy. The guy... in the Yankees hat! Or the jacket. Or the shirt. Or that stupid looking, incredibly ugly and tacky hat with all the "World Series Wins" on it!

What the hell?!

Folks, this is PHILLY. PHILADELPHIA! We fucking love our Phillies here! Win, lose, or bullshit season, we LOVE our Phillies! We will fight for them, scream for them, and root for them no matter what! In 2008, the City of Brotherly Love actually felt like it for a few brief days as all came together to celebrate an amazing World Series win! It was fun, it was awesome, and we all had a good time.

I used to not care about Yankees fans. I used to be OK with them. Then the 2009 World Series happened, and the hatred came! Hell, I don't even hate the Chicago Blackhawks this much, and THEY just stole the fucking Stanley Cup from us! Then again, the difference here is clear: The Stanley Cup Playoffs was a simply amazing story of two teams who had the crap beaten out of them and they were basically both underdogs. The series went to a Game 6 that was hard-fought, even if the winning goal was lame. The 2009 World Series came down to a great team battling a wallet. And, god dammit, the wallet fucking won!

I remember running into a pal of mine... and he was wearing... a... YANKEES... hat. "What the hell?! What's with the hat?! What, do you... you actually LIKE the Bankees or something?" His reply? "No, I just like the look." Knowing him, I'm sure it's true.

And then you have Dallas Cowboys fans.

The god-damn Cowboys.

Growing up in Philly, you learn the following things about local pride: 1, Your neighborhood may suck like hell, but you love it all the same. 2, All Philly teams are great, no matter how shitty they may play (1996 still gives me nightmares!). And 3, THE DALLAS COWBOYS SUCK AND MUST BE ELIMINATED.

Again, what is with these assholes who like the Cowboys in Philly, and oddly enough, actually wear their gear? The Cowboys?! Seriously?! Do... do they get their jollies by rooting for a team with T.O. on it? Do they like the fact they're rooting for a team that plays in a "Dome"? A DOME?! What, are the little football players afraid of a little rain? TOUGH! The Eagles? They play in rain, mud, sleet, snow, boiling hot weather, and snowballs. Hell, they'll play through 10 feet of shit if need be! The Cowboys? "America's Team"? HA!

Oddly enough, there's plenty of Cowboys fans around me, and every football season I give them hell for it. Heck, if I see a Cowboys fans giving me a look on the street, the scream can be heard from space: "COWBOYS SUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

So come on! Give them a hard time! Boo them, rib, them, live up to your rep! You're from Philly! You love Philly sports! Heckle these guys at lease once!