SHIT THAT PISSES ME OFF Part 1: People Who Wear New York Yankees and Dallas Cowboys Gear

DISCLAIMER: The following piece is my sad attempt at humor. The truth is, I do fucking hate both of these teams, and I have a bit of a dislike for their fans. I do favor tossing a joke or insult at them for wearing the gear, but not more else. Hey, I'm tossing this in here to cover my ass, you damn Yankees fan!

You know what I hate? Those douche-bags who think wearing Yankees and Cowboys gear in Philly is "Cool"! FUCK YOU!

Seriously, don't you hate these assholes?

You're on your way to a Phillies game. You're psyched, you're happy, and you're pumped for the game! Then, on the way there... there HE is. THAT guy. The guy... in the Yankees hat! Or the jacket. Or the shirt. Or that stupid looking, incredibly ugly and tacky hat with all the "World Series Wins" on it!

What the hell?!

Folks, this is PHILLY. PHILADELPHIA! We fucking love our Phillies here! Win, lose, or bullshit season, we LOVE our Phillies! We will fight for them, scream for them, and root for them no matter what! In 2008, the City of Brotherly Love actually felt like it for a few brief days as all came together to celebrate an amazing World Series win! It was fun, it was awesome, and we all had a good time.

I used to not care about Yankees fans. I used to be OK with them. Then the 2009 World Series happened, and the hatred came! Hell, I don't even hate the Chicago Blackhawks this much, and THEY just stole the fucking Stanley Cup from us! Then again, the difference here is clear: The Stanley Cup Playoffs was a simply amazing story of two teams who had the crap beaten out of them and they were basically both underdogs. The series went to a Game 6 that was hard-fought, even if the winning goal was lame. The 2009 World Series came down to a great team battling a wallet. And, god dammit, the wallet fucking won!

I remember running into a pal of mine... and he was wearing... a... YANKEES... hat. "What the hell?! What's with the hat?! What, do you... you actually LIKE the Bankees or something?" His reply? "No, I just like the look." Knowing him, I'm sure it's true.

And then you have Dallas Cowboys fans.

The god-damn Cowboys.

Growing up in Philly, you learn the following things about local pride: 1, Your neighborhood may suck like hell, but you love it all the same. 2, All Philly teams are great, no matter how shitty they may play (1996 still gives me nightmares!). And 3, THE DALLAS COWBOYS SUCK AND MUST BE ELIMINATED.

Again, what is with these assholes who like the Cowboys in Philly, and oddly enough, actually wear their gear? The Cowboys?! Seriously?! Do... do they get their jollies by rooting for a team with T.O. on it? Do they like the fact they're rooting for a team that plays in a "Dome"? A DOME?! What, are the little football players afraid of a little rain? TOUGH! The Eagles? They play in rain, mud, sleet, snow, boiling hot weather, and snowballs. Hell, they'll play through 10 feet of shit if need be! The Cowboys? "America's Team"? HA!

Oddly enough, there's plenty of Cowboys fans around me, and every football season I give them hell for it. Heck, if I see a Cowboys fans giving me a look on the street, the scream can be heard from space: "COWBOYS SUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

So come on! Give them a hard time! Boo them, rib, them, live up to your rep! You're from Philly! You love Philly sports! Heckle these guys at lease once!

The SEPTA Strike and Philly Sports: This Could Get Ugly

TWU 234, you have a real public relations problem and here's why:

1. People feel you get paid too much and only want what you want out of greed.

2. You waited 7 months and until the World Series to strike, picking the busiest weekend possible.

3. You made your union members pay MORE IN DUES last year, which may be why they need more money.

4. You took out an ad that doubles as race-baiting against SEPTA because you weren't getting your way.

5. You have a provision in your contracts that allow your members who are hurt to become cashiers and get double-wages AND raises.

6. You want MORE money and MORE benefits during a time when everyone in America is cutting back and suffering.


Right now, here's the situation: TWU 234 goes on strike at 12:01AM tomorrow, this weekend is going to be fucked. "Messed-up" would be more polite, so would even "Screwed". But this... this is a situation where the word "fucked" is the only appropriate word, because it would be! This weekend, you have TWO World Series Games, the Eagles against the NY Giants, Pearl Jam, the Flyers, and if there's anything else, I must have forgotten. But ALL of that is happening this weekend!

So far, talks have been stalled with no progress from either side.

Now, during 99% of the time when people in Philadelphia aren't worried about a strike, we complain about how and why SEPTA sucks. How the service is slow, the workers rude (sometimes), the schedules off, the high fares, and countless other problems with nearly every aspect of the company. So why is it, when the strike looms and starts, we never take the side of the workers and of SEPTA?

Because while we may be mad and angry over the service, we know that this is partly due to the union in and of itself. One problem with SEPTA right now? The bus drivers and supervisors. On an average weekday, drivers may start out early but due to the GPS system in their bus they may have to slow down or stop in order not to get in trouble. On Sunday's, with no supervisors, buses tend to come and go as they please.

Who's to blame for this? I don't know. Maybe SEPTA for wanting accountability of their drivers, and maybe the union workers for not doing their job right and now facing these reprimands from management. I don't know.

Right now, this is about to get ugly.

I was speaking to a few people and we all have the same fear: A SEPTA strike is going to get ugly in the worst possible way. This is largely because of one fact both sides are ignoring one factor: The Philadelphia Sports Fan.

We are not easy people to deal with. We're fine and nice and polite most of the time, but when it comes to our sports, we don't screw around in this town! The riots when the Phillies won could be nothing compared to the reaction from fans unable to watch their hometown play in the World Series after paying over $300 to stand there. The anger of fans unable to see the Eagles play against the Giants.

Could people get so angry and upset over this that they would start actual fights against either side in order to get SEPTA union members back to work? Could we see crowds of people lining up at Broad Street Subway stations demanding to be let on despite a fight, starting riots? Could we see full-scale riots due to a strike? Yankees fans and Giants fans coming down from New York City, pissed that they can't make it to the stadium because of no public transit, mixed with Phillies and Eagles fans?

Sunday, bloody Sunday, it could be.

Personally, I hope this stays as civil as possible between everyone: The union, management... and all the fans. I doubt there would be actual fights, but I don't dismiss it. Try to stay cool, and hey, everyone could just walk down to the stadium and enjoy the game on radios and cheer and boo outside the stadium. A good time to be had by all!

SEPTA, TWU 234? Get your shit together, get to the bargaining table, AND WORK THIS OUT! NOW!

Photo courtesy of Brownstoner.

Eagles Sign Micahel Vick, and I Die A Little Inside

The Philadelphia Eagles are dead to me.

Never, not in a million years, did I ever think I would say those words, type them, or arrange them in any sort of a sentence. Never, ever, ever, EVER. But as of today, they are.

They signed Michael Vick.

From the very moment I was born, there was an Eagles hat on my head. No, I'm not the most vocal fan. No, I don't own a ton of Eagles merch nor have I've ever been to one of their games. No, I don't own a Jersey, and no, I don't know the name and stats of everyone on the team. Am I still a fan? Hell yeah! Even during the 90's, when the average season resulted in only a lousy 3 wins, and I was with them during the highlights, when they went to the Super Bowl and when they almost made it back this year.

Michael Vick. Damn it! Why?!

I believe that once you serve your time, you should be allowed to re-enter society and get a job. I believe that once you apologize for your crime, and you make sincere effort to rehabilitate, you should have every single right to get a new job and make a living. This case isn't that different except for the fact that you also lose some privileges. One of them is to be a hero to kids by playing football in the NFL. Another is making millions by playing a sport.

On top of that, with all the problems in pro-sports today regarding the behavior of those who play sports professionally, having a federal criminal who engaged in a violent activity that harmed dogs doesn't help the image of the NFL.



Image thanks to Daryl Crages awesome blog!

I will not, in any way, shape, or form, be supporting the Eagles this season unless they agree to drop Michael Vick! I won't watch the games, I won't watch the news segments, I'll even turn off the TV if there's a news story about them!

Hey Andy Reid, can I ask you something: HOW COULD YOU DO SOMETHING SO STUPID?!

You know what, I'm going to turn off my filter. Look out for foul language:




WHAT THE FUCK?! WHAT THE MOTHER-FUCKING-HELL?!?!?!?

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT! MICHAEL VICK?! THAT ASSHOLE!??!?!?!?!

FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU BASTARDS!!! WHY?! Why the FUCK would you sign this asshole?! No, seriously! WHY. THE. FUCK would you sign him?! Yeah, he has good states, yeah he's a good player... but as a human being, he's fucking scum! Hell, he's LOWER than scum! He's shittier than shit!

COME ON! TELL ME with a straight face you didn't know this was going to happen! The outrage! The anger! The backlash! Could you even fucking imagine the fact that even people who don't like dogs (like me) think what Vick did was so fucked-up that WE don't even want to associate with the fucker?!

FUCK YOU!









OK, I'm done. No more cursing.

I might even go further in this. I wouldn't mind picketing or protesting Eagles games over this. No kidding. I wouldn't mind.

So, there you have it. The angriest man in Philadelphia spreads his hate about his used-to-be favorite football team. I'm now stuck finding a new football team to root for. Maybe the Arizona Cardinals? Cleveland Browns? Or maybe the Oakland Raiders. Hell, look at their fans!

But, give me this: I still fucking hate the Dallas Cowboys.