The Alternative Ending to Super Mario 64

Without a doubt, my favorite game in 1996 to most of 1997 was Super Mario 64. It still stands as one of my favorite games of all time, and I can't tell you how many times I went to the third Bowser to kick his ass... only to lose. I've never beaten the game on my own, but a friend of mine did. I still know the ending my heart, too.

So when I cam across this alternative ending, well... maybe I need to try and beat it again.

Bottled Water: Worse Than Tap!

I always laughed at people who thought it was "cool" or "hip" or whatever to buy and drink bottled water. "Well, it's better than Philly tap water!"

No... well, not by much.

Tests on leading brands of bottled water turned up a variety of contaminants, including cancer-linked chemicals three times higher than California's health standard, according to a study released Wednesday by an environmental advocacy group.

The findings challenge the popular impression — and marketing pitch — that bottled water is purer than tap water, the researchers say.

In the Wal-Mart and Giant Food bottled water, the highest concentration of chlorine byproducts, known as trihalomethanes, was over 35 parts per billion. California requires 10 parts per billion or less, and the industry's International Bottled Water Association makes 10 its voluntary guideline. The federal limit is 80.

Water researcher Dr. David Carpenter, director of the Institute for Health and the Environment of the University at Albany, who had no role in the study, singled out trihalomethanes as the biggest concern because of strong research links to cancer.

"These are levels that should not be in bottled water," he said.

So you basically aren't getting a ton of difference between the tap and the bottle; just the convince of a bottle if you can't find a water fountain around and $1.50 less in your pocket.

Source: USA Today

If Kip Winger Insults Metallica... Is It Even Valid?

Kip Winger, seen here in his cover for Playgirl Magazine, has recently had this to say about drummer Lars Ulrich:

C.C. Banana: Have you ever thrown darts at a photo of Lars Ulrich?

Kip Winger: I've never done that. I really never had anything against the guy. In fact, when I first heard METALLICA's "black" album, I thought it was a really cool record... and then they just started taking shots at me, for whatever reason. But it's okay, Lars is not really that talented. He's got a lot of fucking money, though, so I'm sure he's happy. I actually felt sorry for him when I saw that "Some Kind of Monster" documentary. He was sitting there next to his dad, just seething with unmoved emotion over things that were still unresolved. It was really kind of sad to watch. But I do like METALLICA, they're a good band.

...OK, so it's not really an insult to Metallica, not even Lars; "Lars Isn't that Talented" is the headline, albeit a desperate one.

But hey, this story is going to get some decent play in the metal world, and don't be shocked if Megadeth fans start pointing to this as a "You see? YOU SEE!" moment. For us die-hard Megadeth fans who don't really care but get to sit back and enjoy the mayhem, we get to revel in the irony of the laughing stock of metal insulting someone who many consider to be the best/over-rated metal drummer ever.

BIGGEST DOUCHE OF THE DAY: Guy Gets Wii for Christmas, beats Up Girlfriend

How can you be the biggest douche possible during Christmas? By dressing as Santa, killing people, and burning down a house? By shooting some asshole who wouldn't shut up during a movie? No. To be the biggest douche possible takes being a 26-year-old man who gets angry when your grandparents give you a Nintendo Wii for Christmas and beat your girlfriend over it.

A Portsmouth, N.H., couple yesterday blamed each other for their black and blue Christmas when they got into a violent fight - and arrested - after an argument over a gift of the popular Nintendo video game.

“This was the worst Christmas ever,” Randi Young, 24, said a day after she and her boyfriend, Heath Blom, 26, were both cuffed and carted off by cops on misdemeanor charges of “domestic-related” simple assault.

Police were called to South Street home where the couple lived with Blom’s grandparents at 1:55 p.m. Christmas day. Officers arrested the pair upon observing bruises on each of them.

Portsmouth police said tempers flared because the boyfriend was smarting over not getting the present he wished for. “Heath Blom wanted a remote-controlled airplane for Christmas, and not the Wii,” said Sgt. Kuffer Kaltenborn.

Blom, a flooring contractor, said the cops got it wrong, and that he had asked his grandparents to get him the $1,000 airplane for his birthday next April. “You can’t fly an RC plane in the snow,” he said.

Source: Boston Herald

The guy couldn't wait 4 fucking months for a RC plane? God damn... if he didn't want the Wii, he could have sold it on eBay and made a killing (no pun intended)!

Duckman: One of The Smartest Shows Ever on Television

In 1996, I was 11 years old. I was miserable and bored in school, I was always being made fun off because I was different, and I didn't have a lot of friends. But I loved cartoons, and that's something I've always held onto. We had gotten Cartoon Network not too long ago, and at that time, it's safe to say there were nearly 100 different animated shows to choose from over a week.

But during this impressionable time in a persons life, I stumbled upon USA Network and a show that they had on at the time. The show was Duckman and it may have done more to help me get through life than school could have at the time.

The show is about an anthropomorphic duck detective named Duckman. Duckman is a widower who lost his wife a year earlier from when the first episode starts. He lives an existence where he, like you, constantly questions why he is and having to deal with both the heartache of losing his wife, raising two sons, one who is an idiot and the other a seimies-genius, a sister-in-law who was a twin of his wife, and a job he hates. His only relief in life is a friend and co-worker names Cornfed, a sort of strait-man when put in contrast to Duckman's insane personality.

The episodes of the show are some of the greatest, most involved ideas I've ever seen presented on TV ever, animated or not. In fact, the fact that they used a cartoon to simplify these incredibly complex ideals while NOT dumbing down the entire concept to an infitile level is amazing and showed that there was a sense of self-awareness that could be done without insulting the process, the show, and most importantly, the viewer. This is a concept that seems to be lost today in a world where "irony" is king and we seem to value that over the quality of telling a good and interesting story.

How deep is this show? One episode called "Psyche" deals with Duckman living with the fact that he can't get laid and why that is. Shallow concept? Not really. In his pursuit for a woman, he literally has two fall into his lap after discussing with Cornfed his problem. The two voluptuous women come in dressed as sexy as possible and ask Duckman to "show us how to get a man without them being so focused on our hot, sexy bodies." Duckman, faced with the fact he has two incredibly hot chicks wanting to have sex with him.... runs away. Yes, you read that right, he runs away. In turn, he watches TV and decides to see a Dominatrix Sex Psychologist (which, in a lot of ways, is basically what a dominatrix is) to help him fix his problems. She hypnotizes him and he goes into his mind where he is forced to deal with the fact that he has a problem getting close to women because of his guilt over not wanting to be unfaithful to his dead wife. He defeats this guilt, gets his confidence back, and returns to work where the women decide they want Duckman even more. When confronted... the guilt begins to awaken again and the episode ends.

All within 25 minutes and presenting it in a great and entertaining way. It's a problem that a lot of men deal with... to a degree. We may not all have dead wives, but we all have, at one point in our lives, the moment similar to Duckman where we ask ourselves, "Why I can't I meet a woman? What's wrong with me?" We all seek answers and the show gave a fairly simple solution that tends to be accurate: To determine what your problem is, you need to realize where this sense of self-guit and lack of confidence comes from. The rest is up to you.

The show also delt with a lot more subjects; the idea of a perfect world ("a truly perfect world is an imperfect one"), trying to find a purpose in life and a reason to be, being a respected parent... this was a cartoon for adults in the truest since of the term. It ran from 1994 to 1997, and the last few season wasn't shown in America. During a time we, as a nation, were mired in a sense of over-consumption and greed turning into a depression and obsessed with discussion about sex, both in our entertainment and our president, we turned away from a show that offered a decent solution and a chance to discuss them. To me, this was a lot like South Park in terms of dealing with topics and had a more timeless nature to it.

It's a great show, and if you can, please check it out. The entire series is being released on DVD and the first two seasons are available in one box set.

Check out this clip: It's basically the best example of the show. George Carlin as a Duck? Yep.

The Simpsons: Hit & Run - Best Simpsons Game EVER!

Back in 1992 when I got my first video game system ever for Christmas, the Super Nintendo with Super Mario World, my mom also got me a game based on my favorite cartoon, The Simpsons. 1992 ranks as the Second-Best Christmas I ever had since in 1996 I got the Nintendo 64. If my mom had filmed it, it would have been similar to a lot of the videos you have seen of kids getting a Nintendo 64. It was awesome.

But in 1992, I got Bart's Nightmare by Acclaim. I didn't like the game much then, and I still don't like it now.

The game was about how Bart worked on a report, fell asleep, and now needs to collect 8 pages in his dreams to finish the report. Even if you don't get all the pages, if you get a lot, you still get a B+ or better and pass. If you get all 8... well, you get to see the credits. I never beat it, but I looked it up on YouTube. I am so glad I never wasted the time of actually beating it; I would have been pissed. But that aside, it was an OK game, and having 8 different mini-games that were fun and entertaining made it worth it at times.

When I was nearly 13, I finally saved up the cash to get a used NES. Yes, a used one in 1998, boy was I ahead of the curb on this retro-stuff! Well, I bought all The Simpsons games I could, and I learned just how much Bart vs. The Space Mutants and Bart vs. the World SUCK ASS. I played "Bart vs. The Space Mutants" the most and all I remember is that I spent an ungodly amount of time trying to get pass level one, it was insanely hard. I wound up just giving up on it.

That said, The Simpsons: Hit & Run is nothing short of AMAZING!

I got this game last year for the Nintendo Gamecube and I think the main draw I had to it was that... well, I had a good feeling about it. I can't remember reading a review or anything about it, but there were some good commercials for it. When I first started playing it, I remember I wasn't very good at it. The plot is as follows: Aliens have invaded Springfield (sound familiar?) and have put Wasp Cameras around town. The Simpsons main goal? Find out who's behind it and stop it!

The aliens are pretty limited overall; the main focus of the game is really a Grant Theft Auto 3 Parody, but I'm not complaining; as a Nintendo Die-Hard, I've never played a GTA game in my life. You get to drive as Homer, Bart, Lisa, and Marge depending on what level your on. They all have their own special cars and depending on how far into the game you are, you can get extra cars. For example, you can get the Mr. Plow truck and a Donut Lad truck.

There are a million and one references to the series, the actual voice actors are here with dialogue, one-liners, and sound effects. If your a die-hard fan like me, even though there are some artistic licenses (The Donut Lad Donuts Statue isn't shaped right, for example), the overall experience is like a Simpsons episode and there are a ton of laughs. I still haven't beaten it, I'm only up to level 4, but it's safe to say that it's basically has kept me distracted from anything and everything since Sunday when I started playing it again from scratch.

Everyone seems to make a cameo: Cletus, The Sea Captain, Comic Book Guy (or Jeff Albertson for the die-hard), Bumblebee Man, Lenny, Carl... the list really just goes on. Some people just kinda stand around while you can actually talk to a few others. The environments are simply expansive; you can explore every knook and cranny here, although I'm sure Patty & Selma wouldn't mind you doing that to them. You can also pick up special collector cards scattered throughout the levels with little facts and trivia about the game.

So, downsides? The camera is the most common one I've read about, and really, it can be annoying, but it's really kinda small. It's noticeable at times, but every 3-D game I've ever played had a problem with the camera, Super Mario 64 included. It's only a little more problematic here because of the fact your driving most of the time. Also, in some levels, the arrows lie and can't be trusted. Then again, that's less about the game being annoying and having a problem and more about it being something that adds to the difficulty.

Here's a few videos to check out:





All in all, this game is incredible and if your reading this either on Christmas or the day after, and you own a Nintendo Wii with a Gamecube controller and Memory Card, take the cash you may have gotten and buy this game! It's more fun than I've had with a lot of games lately (best Wii game I've played? Zelda: the Twilight Princess followed by Super Mario Galaxy and Super Paper Mario).

I give it 4.5 Krusty Dolls Out of 5.

The Best and Worst Metal and Punk Albums of 2008

The Best Metal and Punk Albums of 2008!

1. Amon Amarth - Twilight of The Thundergod
Album of the year. Period. Back in 2006, I bought "With Oden At Our Side" after hearing a lot of hype and I wasn't very impressed. Nevertheless, I decided to give them another go. and I'm glad I did! Twilight of the Thundergod is a viking/melodic death metal epic. The album is melodic and heavy, and becomes an epitome of what extreme and heavy music should be.







2. Cavalera Conspiracy - Inflikted
I didn't get a chance to buy this album until recently, but it was well worth the wait! The album sees, for the first time in 12 years, the Cavalera brothers are together again to give you an album that rocks where Chaos AD left off. Gone is the failed experimentation with an overt use of Brazilian tribal music and instead we get a return of a great combination of thrash, extreme metal, and the same Brazilian tribal music sound is there, this time is great moderation. A brilliant album by two incredible musicians.





3.Wednesday 12 - Skeletons
This album was sold only at Hot Topic and on his tour, as well as available for download only. This may discredit it in the eyes of many a cynical metal head, but they are missing out on something brilliant. Consider Wednesday 13 this generations Alice Cooper and, to a degree, Marilyn Manson. He uses horror-punk to create a more rock-and-roll combination that adds incredible hooks to an album that mixes personal skeletons with real ones. "Great American Massacre", "Not Another Teenage Anthem", "Scream Baby Scream", and "With Friends Like These" are the highlights on an incredible album that will make you think twice about the man and the band.



4. Metallica - Death Magnetic
There is one, and only one, reason why this album isn't #1 and didn't score higher: The production. The production on this album killed it. the fact that they decided to try in vain to make it "louder" instead of sound "good" shows a lack of quality control on the part of the band. But the writing on this album still shines through, showing a level of toughness and refreshed sense of purpose that make it worthy of being a great album in the Metallica canon.






5. Meshuggah - Obzen
Meshuggah? Accessible? Could those two words be put into the same sentence and still make sense? Could they be combined and yet still make it a Top 10 album? YES! Meshuggah's latest album, Obzen, may be their most accessible piece yet, but the heaviness and brilliance is still there in leaps and spades. Tracks such as "Combustion" and "Bleed" are heavy yet catchy, even in a disjointed sort of way. The math-metallers strike again!







6. In Flames - A Sense of Purpose
This one is high on my list because the cover booklet for this album helped A LOT. The album is basically what it's called, "A Sense of Purpose". From the first note to the last, your put in a mysterious ride that takes you all over the mind of Anders, lead singer of In Flames, and shows you the nightmarish world it is. The album is a journey, and to listen to it is pure bliss.








7. Motorhead - Motorizer
I'm convinced that if Lemmy wrote an album that was better than The Beatles "White Album", it would still be rubber-stamped "Another classic Motorhead release that doesn't vary much from Lemmy's formula!" Oye. "Kiss of Death" was Lemmy's best album since Bastards, something I've said about all his albums since 2002's "Hammered", and this was the first time I actually stopped that. "Motorizer" doesn't try to be a metal release; instead, it's a hard rocker of an album with tracks such as "Runaround Man" and "Teach You How To Play the Blues". "Rock Out" is the lone single on here and, really, it's a damn good solid album that kicks ass. Better than 99% of the crap out there and if your put next to a Coldplay album, it'll melt it!



8. Hanzle Und Gretyl - 2012: Zwanzig Zwolf
If there was ever a band that I would consider "The greatest band you never heard of that's still around", Hanzle Und Gretyl is IT! Their combination of industrial and thrash metal is incredible, and Gretyl is none-other than a former member of The Cycle sluts From Hell, a little-known-group famous for "I Wish You Were a Beer". After releasing "Oktonfest" late last year, my hopes were high for this album; sadly, the two best songs on here are on that EP. Or are they? After some time, and as an album itself, thsi disc holds up pretty damn well! "Fukken Uber Death Party" will bring down the house, "Number 1 In Deutcschland" will say "Heil!" to the homeland, and "Heil Hizzle Mein Nizzle" is enough to make you laugh your lederhosen off!


9. Deicide - Till Death Do Us Part
This is a bit of a departure for Glen Benton; Instead of writing a blackened death metal album or a death black metal album or whatever, he instead.... did both? Well, what can I say, getting divorced can do things to a guys mind, and in response, Glen has released a fairly straight-forward death metal album that simply destroys and demolishes everything in it's way.








10. Zimmers Hole - While You Were Shouting At The Devil... We Were in League With Satan
When Strapping Young Lad dissolved last year, there was a collective sense of both anger and understanding as to why. Devin Townsend decided that that period of his life was over and decided to end the band on a high note. At the same time, the rest of the band weren't. Enter a band created in 1991, Zimmers Hole. The band was, and is, a sort of "joke-band"; in a sense, Dethklok from Metalocalypse before they existed. This self-awareness works; The title track rips and tears at the posers, "Devils Mouth", and "The Vowel Song" all help to seal the deal. Now, this was a last-minute addition to my list because I forgot it came out this year and it was a OK disc. At the same time, this is an album made, really, for metal heads. It's a sort of "in-joke", as it were, and it's worthy on being on a Top 10, if not Top 20.

WORST:

Slipknot - All Hope is Gone
All hope is gone? Yes, for you. After releasing Volume 3 in 2006, showing that they could do more than their nu-metal shtick with the help of Rick Rubin, they went back to their roots to release a disappointing album.

Judas Preist - Nostradomous
Rob Halford: OK, we've got 2-discs worth of material here! What do you suppose we do with it? Release it all?
K.K. Downing: No, Rob, I say we only release the best stuff! Give the people the best Priest album ever!
Rob Halford: ....no, let's release all of it. We can charge more for it.


Disappointment:

Venom - Hell
Yes, I was disappointed by a Venom release. After "Metal Black" came out in 2006, I wanted to see what the bad boys from the UK could come up with as a follow-up. Sadly, we got a few good songs and a lot of "Meh".

Dragonforce - Ultra Beatdown
After kicking so much ass with "Inhumane Rampage" and taking the world by storm, can you blame me for expecting them to step up to the plate and dominating their next album? Can you? You can? Damn... I owe you a coke.

Bullet For My Valentine - Scream Aim Fire
These guys are incredibly talented and good. Being able to write death metal vocals for the masses while still writing catchy melodies isn't easy, and after hearing "Hand of Doom" and "The Poison", I wanted them to go far. While it's still a good album (The title track ia amazing, so is "Eye of the Storm") and borrows from the modern extrme metal movement, it fails when it does a song like "Forever and Always".

Not Reviewed:
Opeth - Watershed
Gojia - The Way of the Flesh
Testament - The Formation of Damnation
Guns N Roses - Chinese Democracy

Why Do Most Top 10 Albums of the Year Lists Suck?

I hate Top 10 Albums of the Year Lists.

Whenever I see these lists, it seems to be done by people in a musical black hole. Self-important music critics who think the world ends and begins in the world of lo-fi indie music and whatever their small group of friends enjoy. They seem to be done by people who have been forced to listen to music as a career that sucks and, because of that, they pick the best of the worst. Pitchfork Media, this is going straight after your pampas asses!

On their "news" page, The Arcade Fire warrants a headline and the mention of a noise rock concert is headline worthy as well. For the love of god, who is Microsastle and why is their CD GOOD? Because it replicates 50s and 60s pop? If you wanted regurgitated music, why not just pick up some 50's and 60's pop, take a gun, and simply do the world a favor?

But I digress... I digress in hatred.

So, who's their Top 10? I'll list the band name and albums:

10: DJ/rupture
Uproot

09: Hercules and Love Affair
Hercules and Love Affair

08: M83
Saturdays=Youth

07: Vampire Weekend
Vampire Weekend

06: TV on the Radio
Dear Science

05: Deerhunter
Microcastle / Weird Era Cont.

04: Cut Copy
In Ghost Colours

03: No Age
Nouns

02: Portishead
Third

01: Fleet Foxes
Sun Giant EP/Fleet Foxes

The overall trend? It seems to be of indie/pop/shitty bands that garner little or no respect in the mainstream community and caters to indie socialites and music-holes who think iPod's are the embodiment of all that is "hip". This list fails for more reasons than one, and yes, I know that music is subjective and one mans love is another's scorn.

But who are these bands? Seriously, who? I've never heard of ANY of them! Not a whisper, not a hint, not a trace! I don't heard them on TV, on the radio, burning up charts, anything. I don't see them on end-caps at FYE, articles in Rolling Stone, indie-rock mags with them on the cover, news articles, or people at work talking about them. Then again, more than fair enough to say, I never see bands such as Amon Amarth, Wednesday 13, or Meshuggah making headlines, but save Wednesday 13, they all made it to the Top 100 on Billboard despite no airplay or real mainstream coverage. That's largely beause the metal world is it's own little community, it's own little close-nit area of the world where people go to forums and discuss the music they know and love.

Then again, I did state that the metal world has had albums by seemingly no-name bands to 90% of America crack Billboard this year. Is the indie rock/pop world that much larger? Is it that they can name the best albums, but aren't buying them as much? What's the deal here? What the hell am I missing?!

Is the problem that I am simply out of the loop here? Is it that I just have my own personal head in my own collective bubble of music that is exclusively metal and punk, and only listen to what I think is good and what my friends think? Honestly... yes and no. My friends taste in music is pretty different (I think DevilDriver's last album was shit, my friend loves it), and I do listen almost entirely to metal and punk, save Johnn Cash, Jerry Lee Lewis, and Garbage, and a few others. At the same time, I am easily able to scoff at a lot of music without taking much in (The Fray? Why, why, why do people like them?).

I think there is a massive disconnect with music critics, self-important or otherwise, and the people they cater too. Chuck Klosterman, a man I both respect and scorn at the same time for his love of metal and calling Slayer "Black Metal" (say that to a die-hard fan and watch us squirm in pain), wrote that he has to listen to anything and everything for his job, and in turn his love for hair metal and 70's-early 80's metal (like I said... he thinks Slayer is "black metal") is mixed with bands you and I may never have heard off. To quote Ron Jeremy, "After a while, it takes a while to get me excited." So with a lot of music critics, to hear something "different" even if it isn't "good", qualifies it as being "good" on that alone.

Not only that, but I also hate it when they say it's the "Top 10 Albums of the Year", as if it's the be-all, end-all list of music that year. Why not be honest? "Top 10 Albums of Indie Rock/Pop", "Top 10 Albums of Bands 99% of the Human Population has never heard of, but we think are incredible", or even the more honest, "Top 10 Albums We Think Are Superior to Everything Ever Made Because it's on iTunes and, thus, HIP".

So, look for my "Top 10 Metal and Punk Albums of 2008".... if I can find 10 albums.

And Now, Innappropriate Moments at Philly.com!

Slipknot Calls Coldplay "Music To Wipe Your Ass To"; Self-Important "Music" Fans Cry

Slipknot frontman Corey Taylor has slammed Coldplay – accusing them of making “music to wipe your ass to”.

Taylor made the remark when asked to comment on Coldplay's latest album 'Viva La Vida or Death and All His Friends'.

“That is one of the most self-celebratory pieces of **** I’ve ever ******* heard in my entire ******* life,” Taylor said on MTV2's review of the year.

“Go suck a ******* ****. Are you watching Martin? Suck it. Go eat a bag of ****. I ******* hate that album. It’s music to wipe your ass to.”

Coldplay's fourth record is the fastest selling album in the UK this year, spending four weeks at number one when it was released in June.

It has also topped the charts in 35 other countries, and has sold over two million copies in the US alone.

Source: Gigwise.com

The article neglects to mention that Coldplay is being Sued By Joe Satriani For Plagiarizing "Viva La Vida".

Coldplay. When they burst upon the music scene in 2000, one thought came to mind: Here comes another slow-motion band based on REM and Radiohead that thinks they can do something "awesome" with their brand of lo-fi, non-offensive, boring rock. They will go nowhere. Then they released that "Clocks" song and wound up staying around to today. Every self-indulgent "music" fan, and I use the term loosely because they think "music" consists of nothing more than mediocre bands and music that don't try to challenge the listener, but instead insults them with nonsensical drivle lyrics.

Bah.

That said, these self-indulgent music-holes aren't going to really care what a group of metalheads in jumpsuits and masks have to say about their latest flavor of vanilla. But, hey, it gave me an excuse to write this and put an album cover on a roll of toilet paper!

THIS JUST IN: PUNK ROCK FLEA MARKET POSTPONED!!

THE PUNK ROCK FLEA MARKET - HOLIDAY EDITION !

I cant quite believe it myself but it comes with great disappointment that I have to send out this e-mail. Early this evening the Philadelphia Police Department and The Department Of Licenses and Inspection visited the The Starlight Ballroom to dispute provisions in an agreement arranged with the City Of Philadelphia. The full story is pretty boring and is not very scandalous but it does greatly effect our Flea Market scheduled for tomorrow.

In short - the Starlight can not host any events this weekend till the meet with these officials on Monday morning. Unfortunately there was nothing we could do to facilitate this meeting earlier (we found out about it from the owners after city offices were closed). We attempted to re-locate the venue to multiple nearby halls and locations but with this short notice and an event this big - nothing could be worked out. We have no other choice but to postpone the fleamarket till after the holidays. At this point it is what makes the most sense rather than try and cram it into an already busy holiday season.

No one is more bummed than us, as we count on this fundraiser to pay our annual insurance policy (which we are a bit screwed for now). Full details regarding the new date and possible new location will be released in the next few days. For those who had table reservations - we are very sorry! We know many of you prepared for weeks to have goods ready to sell just in time for the holiday season. This is our biggest event of the year and takes about seven days to prepare for. We know first hand as to what's at stake and the potential income that you were counting on. Again the Flea Market will have a new date shortly after the new year - all existing reservations will be honored and carried over. If for some reason the date does not work for you - we can fully refund you including all service charges. Once the refund period is over - we will turn over any available tables for those who requested a table after they sold out.

So once again Tomorrow's Flea Market is Postponed. A new date announcement will be made in a few days. We lost more than anyone in this mess... Signed,
The Saddest R5 Staff In The Land
=(

Wow. I've been to a few shows there and it's an OK place, and I'm not 100% surprised by the news that the police and fire departments are there. Good luck to the folks at R5 Productions and the Starlight Ballroom!

Sick Of It All

It's been a long day and I really just want it to end.

I was supposed to meet a friend of mine at 4:30 and they had to cancel at the last minute. It didn't help that they have been kinda leaning on me for everything and they have begun to drag me down into their ever-increasingly-bad life. After they canceled, it was downhill from there.

I got a mention on another local blog for that poster yesterday and I wanted to address what someone said about, although I think I did already... if so, I just want to repeat it because people on a forum I go to don't get this idea: I don't want attention for not doing something good. I had a phase where I wanted attention for pretty much anything and everything, and it's something I'm willing to admit. When you have no close family, friends that can be hard to reach, and live in a house by yourself... well, who wouldn't need some attention?

But I realized how dumb and self-defeating it is. It's pointless to do, and it's stupid. I finally met someone who I can be myself with, someone I'm happy with, and for the first time in a long time, for the first time since that election, I actually feel happy with myself and who I am as a person. My friends have given me a ton of support, and I really have to thank them for putting up with me this year. It's been a rough one, and you need good friends for times like these.

Today got rougher when I decided to get done my Christmas shopping and had about 10 different homeless people spread out over a good 1-mile radius ask me for everything from money to food to using my phone while I was taking an emergency phone call within a 30-minute span. It wasn't rough because some of them were rude when I said "no', although that was part of it. No, I want to help, I really do. I got a job that I love, great friends... all in all, I really feel like I hit some sort of jackpot and I'm thankful for everything I have right now. I want to do more to help the homeless, and I REALLY wish I knew how to help more and more directly.

I'm tired, I'm stressed, and I really am trying to change, be a better person, and do some good. I don't want people to assume I post things for the attention, although posting is an attention-getting thing, isn't it? I guess the best way to put it is I'm just doing this to inform my friends what I think and, maybe, help someone else who feels the same.

Well, have a good night and a pleasant tomorrow!

The Reaction and Outcry to "Why Philly Blogs Tend to Suck"

I couldn't resist.

In response to what I wrote yesterday, I saw this:

JOE: I’ve been saying for years that the media really needs to stop living in the past. Shit, anyone can report on things that have already happened. I want my news filled withall the possibilities of the future and wild speculation!

Because, as we all know, asking someone to report on a planned event is "wild speculation!"

But, thankfully, someone saw the point:

RYAN: Actually, I agree with him in spite tarnished reputation due to his mayoral race hijinks. Most Philly news/infotainment blogs are pretty bad at pumping up cool events in the city, a lot of newcomers I talk to are at a loss for what to do. It isn’t that there aren’t cool events, or that the blogs just don’t outright list them, but there isn’t as much of effort to sift through the dozens of weekly event listings and sift out the pieces of corn amidst the pile of shit.

Ryan, thanks! That's a pretty good way of putting it. I've lived here my entire life, but I won't lie... I'm a reclusive guy who spends all his time watching TV and wasting his life posting on a blog. I go to The Troc's website as much as possible since I go to shows there, and whenever I can or remember, I either pick up one of the local alt-weekly papers to check out shows or The Electric Factory's and TLA's website.

But there's always more. Take the Punk Rock Flea Market, for example. I didn't find out about it until Wednesday, and that was after all the tables were gone. It would have been nice, VERY NICE, to go and sell some of my art there. Who couldn't use a few extra bucks right now? Or how about not finding out a band you like came to town or did a show the day of or after its happened? These things are planned well in advance, at least a month or so.

It seems local blogs are to content with trying to seem "hip" that they forgot about being "Cool", "Fun", "Informative", and above all, "RELATIVE".

Eh... then again, I'm willing to admit I write all of this stuff for myself. I try to stay humble about it because, frankly, I'm just some dude who posts on a blog. If I build a following, I'll start writing for them. Soon, people will complain I became the same thing I hate... and they might be right.

For now? Courage.

So People Paid Attention to Something I Wrote...

I'll just make this brief:

I'm both shocked and amazed that my little rant went as far across the Blogosphere as it did. As such, I just want to explain why I wrote it and how I found out it caught on like the flu it is:

It's been a little frustrating not finding out about events until it's too late. The nightly news does it, and with blogs, I set the bar a little higher. Events that I would like to attend or plan to go happen from time to time around here, and maybe, like, a weeks notice would be cool. But as just some guy, I never know where to go, really. So in the last post, I vented my frustrations. I said to myself, "Well, no one reads this damn thing anyway, and if they do, I'm sure they'll understand it was just blowing off steam, nothing more, as well as a cry for help on where to get this info."

I think the reaction can best be described as "mixed."

I still love and go to these blogs I mentioned, and I still love reading them. I don't have a following, and really, I don't care if I get one. I stopped trying months ago to get one and I'm happy just using this place as more of a journal to vent and see if anyone agrees with me.

So, imagine my shock when I checked my computer and saw some 50-odd hits by 10AM, which is rare. Most of the links were from Twitter, one from Facebook... I guess it spread from there. I didn't even tell anyone about it, I just thought it would sort of float around like everything else I've written.

So thanks for the folks leaving comments, and informing me of Phawker and the Philebrity Listings to shut me up. :) Also, The Clog is awesome and so is Philadelphia Will Do! Keep up the good work, can't wait to read what happens next!

KREATOR EXODUS COMING TO PHILLY! Metal Fans Rejoice!

Kreator with Exodus

Trocadero

Philadelphia, PA
Thu, Apr 9, 2009 06:00 PM

SOURCE: The Troc!

Why Philly Blogs Tend to Suck; Event Notification

Well, this is going to win me friends, isn't it?

I go to 3 Philadelphia blogs on a daily basis: Philadelphia Will Do, Philebrity, and The Clog. All 3 of them had at least one story about me. All 3 of them will never talk to me again.

The main problem I have with all of them is one thing: NOT TELLING YOU ABOUT EVENTS UNTIL IT'S TOO LATE!

There's a lot of problem with all three blogs respectively, and one day soon I'll go into detail about it. For now, it's this.

When it comes to Philebrity.com, there is advertising for R5 Productions, The TLA, Johnny Brendas, and P.O.P.E., and a few other places you never heard of or could care less about. In turn, your finding out the real problem with the site in terms of informing you of events. The site says it isn't for "hipsters", but the seemingly non-stop parade of bands-you-never-heard-of-but-we-think-are-cool never ends. Need proof? Ever hear of a band called Faux Slang? Me neither., but they seem to think they're worthy of a post. Need info on some band that plays shitty Indie Rock or some funk faux-punk band? Check out their nightly wrap-up of city events! Or don't. Whatever's more ironic.

The main plus is that, yes, there is some advance warning. But if you did want The Pros From Denver play a show tonight, they'll tell you... a good 5 hours before the show.

Philadelphia Will Do? Next to non-existent. It's basically comes down to Dan, if he feels like it, coming to the blog and posting about the event, making jokes about it, and letting it go from there. Sometimes it's before the event, sometimes it's not. The last event I can think of was when he posted a flyer for an event by Philly 52 the day before the thing was supposed to happen. To make fun of it. Classy.

Then you have The Clog. They do a sort of Catch-22; they tell you about the event... when it's too late. For example, there was an awesome story about Home Movie Day... the day of the event. Oh, and the day before an event to protest Prop 8, they mentioned the protest that told people to "Call In Gay". Yep, one WHOLE day!

These blogs, all-in-all, SUCK when it comes to telling you about upcoming events in Philadelphia. These blogs are, frankly, fairly big outlets. Philadelphia Will Do is run by Philadelphia Weekly, The Clog is run by City Paper, and Philebrity has garnered a large, respectable following in it's own right. They seem less interested in informing people about events in the city they would care about than anything else. These aren't entertainment blogs, that's for certain, but they do serve a purpose of informing people since they do have a rather large audience.

Are there places dedicated to informing you about local events? Yes... but they suck. They're hard to navigate, tend to focus on more all-inclusive events, and less on anything interesting. While the local blogs have their problems, they all have their charm. They tend to be fun, not that serious when you want it to be fun, and fairly informative at times. But, really, the details are for another day.

I can't say I've been doing much better; I've ignored some really awesome metal shows coming to town myself. Then again, I'm just some punk who works a 9-5 job and can't afford to go to said shows. I'm going to TRY and change that myself. There's a new year coming, so why not?


EDIT: I want to add that this isn't a dig at any of these guys. I think The Clog has gotten better over the last year, I read Philebrity because it's entertaining to get a decent look at the city, and Dan McQuade is a good friend of mine. This really is more of a rant in frustration and a sort of "Hey, wake up!" thing for them. Thanks to whoever put this on Twitter, and R5 Productions is AWESOME.

THE PUNK ROCK FLEA MARKET - HOLIDAY EDITION !

THE PUNK ROCK FLEA MARKET - HOLIDAY EDITION !
What a great place to get those last minute holiday gifts! It's that time again for the semi-annual (twice a year) PUNK ROCK FLEA MARKET. Our most popular reoccurring event/show/whatever (by far). All proceeds raised will goto the purchase of necessary equipment and supplies to ensure that all ages shows continue to remain a reality at The First Unitarian Church in Philadelphia - mainly the remaining payment for our new liability insurance policy. Do not let the name lead you to believe that it's just punk records, clothes etc. - it's a full on flea market with everything from furniture, to laptops / computers , to stereo equipment, to handmade apparel, to vegan treats, information from various non profit groups, book stores, artists selling their work, bicycles & skateboards and whatever else we can fit onto the ballroom floor at The Starlight Ballroom.

In addition to the normal flea market stuff there will also be a full bar and food service kitchen to make the day go by a little faster.

CHECK OUT THE 2009 HOLIDAY SELLERS LIST RIGHT HERE !
At The Starlight Ballroom
460 North 9th Street (Just Below 9th & Spring Garden)
Philadelphia, PA
$3 Donation To Enter
All Tables Are Sold Out - There Are No More Tables Left - Sorry !

Source: R5 Porudcitons

Non Sequitur: TD Says...

I want to add this as a new thing on the blog; Most days when I read Non Sequitur on MyYahoo, my bookmarks tend to line up just next to the word balloon. So I decided to just basically post it.

ENJOY!

Black Metal Fights Back: Behemoth's Frontman Sues for Slander and Libel!

According to Metal Portal, BEHEMOTH mainman Adam "Nergal" Darski has filed a libel lawsuit against the head of the All-Polish Committee for Defence against Sects, Ryszard Nowak. Nergal claims that Nowak slandered him in an interview with Gazeta Swietojanska (watch interview in two parts below), repeatedly calling the BEHEMOTH frontman a criminal.

Darski is demanding a written apology from Nowak, to be published in Gazeta Wyborcza, one of the Poland's biggest daily newspapers, and three thousand zloty (approximately $1,000), which Nergal plans to donate to the animal shelter Ciapkowo in Gdynia. Nowak, on the other hand, says that he has no intention of apologizing to Nergal, explaining that this would give all musicians worshiping Satan the green light to do as they please while performing on stage — to burn crosses, destroy the Bible or just offend Christians. "I'd rather go to prison," Nowak says.

Source: Blabbermouth.net

Here's a video of him tearing up the Bible:



And the interview with Gazeta Swietojanska about BEHEMOTH's Adam "Nergal" Darski:





Without a doubt, this is the best thing possible to happen to Black Metal, a sort of "Growing up", if you will. You have an artist fighting for his right to freely express himself in a relatively-young democracy and someone stating that no, he shouldn't. In turn, he's suing for $1000 and would give the money to an animal shelter.

So who looks bad here?

Photo From Revolver Mag.

Yes, Even Professional Artists Make Mistakes

I was on Kotaku today and saw this article about a mistake on the GTA IV poster:

As you can see, she has 6 fingers. So, yeah, even the pro's and screw up.

Thanks Kotaku!

HELLVETICA!!!!!!!!!!!!!